Grace Art and Antiques

The Chantilly Bridal Jacket

2009-06-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh. If only, if only. If only I knew I'd fall in love and get married again, I'd keep this beautiful thing, because it would be perfect for a second wedding. I mean, perfect. I've never seen anything like it, and I doubt I ever will. Vintage Chantilly lace in the most beautifully aged and warm shade of ivory, it fits like a dream and is a real show-stopper.

Sigh. If only.

Click here to see the listing in my Etsy shop...and don't forget, 20% off today and tomorrow.

I'm Having a Sale in my Etsy Shop!

2009-06-25T06:02:00.000-07:00

I've never had a shop-wide sale before, but here goes.....take 20% off everything in the shop for two days only, Thursday, June 25 and Friday, June 26. This includes all of my vintage and handmade listings, but custom orders are excluded. I need to clear the decks for some new inventory, so here goes....you can find some great merchandise, and it's all on sale... Happy shopping!

The Baroque Necklace

2009-06-12T12:21:00.001-07:00

It's finished, and I really couldn't be more pleased. The components really fell together nicely, which is always a blessing. When things happen this easily, I know I'm on the right track.

Oh! Those Shoes!

2009-06-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

I still just cannot believe these fabulous 1940s shoes! They're one of my best finds ever, and oh how I wish they were my size. I'm amazed at their nothing-less-than-pristine condition and completely smitten with their amazing style. Who will be the lucky girl to own these babies?

It's All a Process

2009-05-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

My friend Nancy tells me, as I've been going through some tough spots over the past few months, "It's all a process. Just look at it as a process, and get through it one thing at a time."

Words of wisdom, to be sure, and her advice has been very helpful to me. It also has got me thinking about processes in general...how I work, how I think, etc. As I walked around looking at the little groupings of materials I put together and mull over as I ease my way into a project, I decided to take a few photographs of my material stashes and my processes as they evolve.

Above are two necklaces in progress: the first, definitely a new direction for me; the second, something more familiar and bridal in nature.

I'll post the finished products, of course, but....heaven knows when that will be! As it is a SLOW process, and I'm in no hurry. I've got nothing but time.

Scenes from the Flea Market

2009-05-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in so long! My goodness!

It was a beautiful weekend to be outdoors, enjoying the weather and the people, the sights and the sounds of a flea market. I had such fun meeting new people, and enjoyed seeing some old friends, too.

Of course, I picked up a few goodies--a box of random costume jewelry tidbits, an awesome art coffee table book from 1939, some vintage brass laundry pins, and a fabulous little brown drawstring bag, knitted from soft strips of brown leather.

I can't wait to go again!

The Paper Monster and Other Assorted Extraneous Bullshit

2009-04-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

My old arch-enemy, The Paper Monster, is finally losing its grip on me, I'm happy to say. The battle has been a toughy, and it's admittedly ongoing, but I'm winning. I've been plowing through piles and boxes and heaps of papers, trying to come to grips with the financial and legal mire I find myself in. Indeed, it's cathartic, to shred. Almost, but not quite, as pleasurable as burning. I've killed the shredder--it died of exhaustion, apparently--so I may need to return to the burning process as I march on in my quest to rid myself of extraneous bullshit. Now, I don't know how much extraneous bullshit you, personally, have acquired. And I'm happy to say that I have much less than I used to, having been on this quest for a period of time now. Still, it's nothing short of amazing just how much STUFF one person can accumulate. And paper, albeit daunting, is the least of it. On my mission to lighten my load, I find myself peeling layers. I make a preliminary pass, through a drawer, a box, a closet, pitching the obvious. Then, after a suitable waiting period, I approach again, this time with a more determined frame of mind....et voila: another layer of stuff disappears, as I become more ready to part with things previously felt to be crucial to my existence. The goal is to unburden myself of anything that doesn't either serve a clear purpose or give me sheer pleasure. No more will I hang onto perfectly good objects simply because so-and-so gave them to me, or it's too good to throw away, or I've had it forever (which isn't reason enough to keep it forevermore). I'm rethinking and using things creatively to make them more functional. If they're not functional, and I can't honestly proclaim "I love that thing!", then whoooooooosh......off they go, into the wind. Anything with bad karma attached (the couch my ex used to lie on and watch television...MY couch, MY television), whoooosh. Things I don't care about can no longer be held onto because of guilt. I don't have the time, or the energy, or the space...and now I can say I no longer have the desire. I loved that couch, truly I did. But every time I looked at it, all I saw was his lazy ass laying on it, and that's not the kind of mental clutter I need to hold onto! My friends and family have been the beneficiaries of my cast-off possessions, as have the local charitable organizations. It makes me feel good to pass things along to those who will appreciate and use them. And it makes me feel even better to lighten my load--who needs to be weighed down by all this unnecessary stuff? Not I! No, I have an agenda. And it does not include letting all this stuff suck my energy and deplete me of my creativity. The less stuff I have, the less stress I feel. The less stress I feel, the more space I have in my brain to concentrate on the things that really matter. And what really matters is not stuff. It's my friends, my family, my happiness and fulfillment, my life. The simpler I make my life, the happier I become. Whoooosh, indeed. Maybe this is why I keep cutting my hair shorter and shorter. I just can't be bothered anymore; I've got bigger fish to fry. It's all very liberating....sort of a spring cleaning of the mind, as well as the space.

My New Life as a Hairdresser

2009-03-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

Though it's highly doubtful Katie or Rihanna will be booking appointments with me anytime soon, I've got to say, my DIY haircut didn't turn out too bad! Now, mind you, it looks nothing like either of those celebrity haircuts....so it didn't turn me into the ravishing beauty I'd envisioned. But it looks alot better than it did, and after a week to 'settle in', it doesn't even really seem all that short anymore.

Which means I'll likely bust out the scissors again, here, in the not-so-distant future. Stay tuned! And sorry, but no picture....at least not yet.

Next up: Doris needs a spring haircut, too....and a Furmination.

It was Rihanna's fault. Or Katie Holmes's.

2009-03-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so all the pictures of Rihanna on the internet lately showed her adorable short haircut. Hmmm, I thought. It's been a while since I've had really short hair.

Next, along came the Katie Holmes photo shoot for Glamour Magazine, with subsequent photos posted on the internet. Hmmm, I thought. What a darling short haircut!! Very sexy and spunky!

Still later, I was reading a different issue of Glamour that happened to be lying about and voila, the most sexxxy, sophisticated version of a pixie cut that I've ever seen!! Very soft and spiky and feminine!!!

A little backstory, here. I had short hair growing up. There was the infamous pixie cut in first grade, right before school pictures, when my mother (God rest her vain soul) took me to the Beauty School (Select Beauty Academy, but we called it the Beauty School) for a haircut. For years after, she told the story of how she was standing there waiting for me to emerge with my new pixie cut when she felt a tug on her skirt and looked down to see what she thought was a little boy wearing a dress. "They snatched her bald!" I believe was how she put it. That extreme pixie was forever captured in my school picture, which my older sister Sue said made me look like a turtle.

In later years, I grew my hair long. It was long and straight and sleek and shiny and thin and fine and long and straight. For a long time. Then there was my Bo Derek phase (thankfully, brief)....then began the long line of perms and various short hairstyles--the assymetrical, the bob, the poufy bubble like my Barbie had. The Betty Crocker. The expensive mistake when I emerged from the salon looking like Prince and the Revolution, with long bangs hanging over one eye and extremely short hair all over the rest of my head. Agh.

But I digress. To make a long story short (no pun intended), I've had a zillion versions of shortish hair over the past 30 years, and I've gone through many a stylist. In my current bleak economic state, I've been unable to afford the luxury that is for most a necessity--a professional haircut. I haven't had one since last September. I've been trimming my own hair, and to a point, it's been working out okay...because I had a messy, crazy hairstyle where it didn't really matter much.

But then, along came Rihanna....and Katie.....and then......oh, I dunno. I was bored. I was tired. My hair was dirty, I was in my pajamas, I looked in the bathroom mirror, and I started hacking. A little snip here, another snip snip there. Snippety snip snip. Which progressed to whack whack WHACK. Hack. Before I knew it, there was a pile of hair in the sink. Panicked, I went to bed.

Ooooh, but this was just the beginning.

(.....to be continued.)

More Pretty Things (Spring is Coming)

2009-03-05T18:07:00.000-08:00

I guess the fact that *SPRING IS COMING* is just flat-out putting me back into a girly mood. I want to dress like a girl again, with skirts and dresses and ruffles and heels and makeup! Get me out of these boots and coats and scarves and hats and layers!

That said, I've been unearthing some pretty girly things in my stash. I'll be wearing some of them in the coming weeks, and I'll also be listing some of them in my Etsy shop.....like this beaded little wonder of a vintage 1960s cocktail dress, ooooh la la! Beadwork that is just to die for, a perfectly feminine shade of butter yellow silk, and a classic wiggle silhouette that says Come Hither...what more could a girl ask for? Welllllll maybe a slightly larger size. This particular little number doesn't fit yours truly, or it would remain in my closet. Try as I might, even with my recent (ahem) considerable slimming down, I just couldn't shimmy into this thing.

Maybe you could, though?

Ok....Time to Go Night-Night....z z z z z z z z z

2009-02-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

I know I've already posted twice tonite...on different topics....so now it's time to hit the sack. I just wanted to share this sweet little pic I snapped of Nelson the other day, taking a little nappy-poo in a sunny spot on the floor. Love that boy!

Goodnight!

The Stress-O-Meter

2009-02-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

My friend Neal's dog died last week. He was the coolest dog--a big, beautiful boxer, with a personality that perfectly suited Neal. They were best buds for 12 years, and now he's gone, leaving a huge hole in Neal's heart, house, life. I know what he's going through--it was last year right around this time that I had to put my dog Daisy down after she had a stroke. She was my very first dog, and that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Then I was talking to my friend Nancy today about astrology and what's been going on in my life and what's upcoming, and she commented that it would be interesting to see my chart. We talked a bit about it, and she said, well, it's all a cycle--it would be good to know how long the cycle is going to last, etc....how long it's been going on, how long before it ends....sometimes the cycle can last for years and years!

So this all got me to thinking about all the stressful events I've had take place in my life over the last few years. Actually, four years--since I've known Neal--and it occurred to me, he's never seen me in a normal life, without drama, because ever since I've met him it's been one thing after another. He has never seen me with my dust settled and without some big major upheaval going on. He probably thinks this is what my life's always been like....au contraire! Prior to this unsettled period of events, my life was very normal and mundane and actually quite boring. When I met him, it was all just beginning.....

Consider this. In the past four years, I have:

moved not once, not twice, but three times (after living in the same house for 23 years);
lost two beloved dogs, both to strokes;
had a frightening stroke-like event, which scared me out of my mind;
lost my job (after 25 years working for the same employer);
helped my best friend through a life-altering health crisis which left her permanently disabled;
lost my health insurance coverage;
weathered a major life-changing, gutwrenching emotional crisis with my only child;
lost my 'dream' home (now a nightmare) to foreclosure;
been more destitute than I've ever been in my life and had to rely on others for help.

So it's no wonder I've been all stressed out! I'm off the charts on the Stress-O-Meter! But hey, everybody, and especially you, Neal....listen. I'm not like this. Really. I'm not. I'm just a victim of circumstance. Or astrology. Or something. It's just a cycle.

Pretty Things

2009-02-28T18:23:00.000-08:00

In a perfect world, I'd be able to have fifteen different houses, so I could satisfy all of my decorating wishes. My taste is so all over the place! Since I can't keep everything (hell--I'd be happy just to have all my stuff in one location!), I'll just have to satisfy myself with making pretty things and selling them, being careful to photograph everything for posterity before I send it off on its merry way.

This goes for everything from clothes to fabric to furniture to.....anything! I enjoy it for my brief little tenure, then off it goes to another home, for someone else to appreciate. How fun is that? This little pillow I made is a prime example--I love it, I adore the vintage barkcloth I used to make it--but it doesn't fit where I am in my life right now, so it's for sale in my Etsy shop, just waiting for someone else to love it.

Oh...and that chair? That fabulous, green painted old Windsor? Now THAT is a keeper. Not for sale. No way, no how. Got it years ago at one of the first estate sales I ever attended....paid four dollars for it. Comfy as all get out, and a great prop for photographing. Love it.

Spring is Coming! Spring is Coming!

2009-02-22T11:28:00.001-08:00

Well, January all but flew by, really....and now February is nearly done, as well. Although it's snowing again today, there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel. The temperatures are milder, the days are getting longer and longer, there's just a sort of hopefulness in the air, after the long winter, that spring is just around the corner! I've been thinking alot the past week or two about my summer plans. Although I can't really make any plans that are etched in stone, I can at least contemplate what sorts of things I'd like to accomplish and what path I'm going to take. I've been researching my options and I think I've got things (sort of) figured out. That said, I'm heading in the direction of wrapping things up on one level, while scaling back to a more comfortable style that I think I can sustain more easily. It's gonna take some time and effort, but it can be done, and I'm already (thankfully) making some progress....so I have faith that it can indeed be done, and done well. You know I'm a planner by nature, and my latest venture has proven the theory about the best-laid plans. The past few months have been a learning experience, definitely. And an expensive one, on many different levels--financially, emotionally, physically. But I'm emerging from this experience a better, stronger girl than I was going in. I now know what I want. I've had a taste of it, and I'm going to streamline things and focus ahead and come back with a vengeance. I scored a couple of dandy finds at the local thrift this week--one of them a vintage crinoline so sweet, I'm keeping it. Also some fabulous cotton yarn with which to make a summer wrap in a wonderful turquoise color, and a gorgeous beaded evening gown from a chi-chi 1960s design house that will be going on the auction block very soon. I've also been creating this week, and here's the latest in my series of textile cuffs. I love this one. I would almost wear it. Almost, but not quite. I'm getting closer to merging my personal style with my textile work, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm even thinking about some upcycled clothing.....maybe soon, I'll pull some things out and start experimenting. But for now, just the simple little cuffs...small, simple, fast, fun, low key. For me, right now, it's all about keeping things low key. That, and waiting for spring....it's coming!

Vintage Loveliness

2009-02-15T05:22:00.000-08:00

The springlike weather has put me in a girly-whirly mood.....thoughts of shedding all these ugly layers of boyish clothes make me long for skirts and ruffles and cute little sandals. I'm sooooo ready for spring! Even though I know this weather has been a fluke, it's still been a nice reprieve and allows for some daydreaming of what's ahead...farmstand produce, art fairs and festivals, outdoor music, the sunroof open, just to name a few. But I digress (as usual). Back in the day, when women were women and dressed as such, the clothes were ever so delightful (not to mention the accessories). I am making it my personal mission to bring back the girliness. That said, look at this gorgeous blouse I listed last week--I can't quite pull this look off, but man, I sure wish I could!

It's such a frothy, sheer little thing, and those buttons......well, it's a beauty. If I could pull off that demure look, I'd keep it.....but demure is not an adjective often used to describe yours truly, so this lovely little wisp of a blouse can be found up for grabs in my Etsy shop!

Melting, Melting....

2009-02-08T17:46:00.000-08:00

Gosh, what a difference a few degrees makes...in one's surroundings, in one's demeanor, in one's outlook. The temperature finally lifted above freeze mode, the sun came out, and voila! Instant mood change, instant scenery change, instant energy. People were out and about today for the first time in weeks, it seemed...unafraid of slipping on the ice, unbundled by a layer or two, gloveless, hatless, unburdened. The shift was almost palpable. After day after day after day of cold and ice and snow, I think everyone's cabin fever has been particularly acute this winter--at least, I know mine has been. (Although that may be just as much due to circumstances as weather, I suppose!) At any rate, the weather sure changed my outlook for the coming week. I can't wait for tomorrow so I can get busy at all the things on my to-do list! And I can't wait to get outside and move around and walk and get some much needed exercise and fresh air. I'm in another phase of lightening my load as I prepare for yet another big change in my life, so I'm anxious to get started on the first steps toward meeting that goal. I'll spare you the details for now, but suffice it to say, things are still in a state of flux. I'm still scattered hither and yon, still trying to figure out which direction to go next. But at least some ideas are formulating, and the fog in my head is clearing a bit. I can't help but believe a little of that has to do with the change in the weather. A little warmth and sunshine to clear the clouds in my brain. On one level, I'm settling in. On another, I'm getting ready to fly. All of sudden, I'm starting to see the path I'll need to take, and although it's not the one I thought I wanted, I can see that it may lead me where I want to be in the long run. I'm ready to start exploring the possibilities on that path, and this seems like it might be the week to start on that project. Cheers to spring. It's right around the corner, now. I can feel it. I crave it, I want it, I know it's fleeting but if this reprieve is only for a week, I'll relish it.

The Queen of Denial

2009-01-31T14:45:00.000-08:00

La la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I love it here on Fantasy Island! Every morning when I awake, my brain is immediately crushed by thoughts of all the bills I have overdue. Which is most pressing? (Answer: ALL OF THEM). How can I pay even one of them? (Answer: I CAN'T). What's going to become of me, what am I going to do? (Answer: I DON'T KNOW). My solution to all of this is to completely ignore all of it, for just one more day. You see, every day that passes by is just another day. There's nothing I can do about any of it. And it's not that I don't WANT to pay my bills--it's that I absolutely can't. I mean, really. I have absolutely nothing. I have no money. Zero. Granted, I have stuff--and I'm trying to sell as much of it as I can, and get rid of what I can't sell so it won't weigh me down--but I have no cash flow whatsoever, other than the paltry sum that comes from Etsy sales, which is hardly enough to even begin to live on. My family has helped me. My friends have helped me. I can't ask for any more help, so what, really, can I do? I've never been in this position and let me tell you, it's not a good place to be. I know I'm not alone, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just want it all to go away. So I pretend, once I wade through my morning thoughts, that everything is going to be fine. If I start slipping back into that black hole of woeful thoughts, I talk myself out of it. I pretend that everything is lovely here on Fantasy Island, where I live. Life is beautiful all the time. Everything's just peachy, thank you very much. I'm holding onto that thought. Because before all is said and done, I'm going to lose everything I have. Which isn't much. But still.

A Good Day to Stay In

2009-01-29T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today it was too icy to go anywhere. I've already fallen once this winter, I don't want to do an encore performance and wind up in the charity ward at the hospital with amnesia or something, murmuring "who am I? where am I?" So I stayed in and worked on my ever-growing To-Do List (which my friend Nancy said I needed to categorize, so I can focus on one area at a time). One of the things on my list was to finish these little Valentine ACEOs to list on Etsy. The light coming in the window this afternoon was so lovely, I couldn't resist taking a couple of shots.

And when I was finished, I baked some oatmeal cookies (and might I add, this is my secret recipe tweaked and, I daresay, improved from the Martha Stewart version and winner of a blue ribbon at the Hellsdale County Fair a couple seasons back). I then enjoyed a couple while sipping a cup of Saba #14 from my friend Nini's shop, Tay.

I called it lunch. What the heck. Sure beats a sandwich.

All in all, a good and fairly productive day, I'd say. How did you spend yours?

Some Days Are Better Than Others

2009-01-25T16:58:00.000-08:00

And I say that from a perspective of productivity. I have good intentions every single day, really....but some days things get done, and some days, they don't. This was NOT a productive day, unfortunately. Although I suppose, if I really push it, I can come up with a list of things I did accomplish:

(maybe)
got out my Winsor Newton inks that have been stashed for years and played around a bit with some ACEO stuff.
took the garbage out.
ironed some new vintage things--a fabulously voluminous coral cotton dress, and a fancy schmancy cocktail apron with glitter and velvet trim.
ironed a dresser scarf I sold on Etsy yesterday so it's ready to ship tomorrow.
did a facial mask (in my quest to lighten my load--a sample pack I wanted to use up).
got myself activated on Twitter (yet another techy thing to try to keep on top of).
sat around alot thinking about nothing.
looked around alot thinking about what to do next.
thought about calling some friends I haven't spoken to in a long time, but didn't want to take the time to actually DO it.
thought about making some of my old favorite muffins, but then didn't do it.
gosh! I guess that's about it! Not much!!!

So anyhoo....you can see what I mean. It was NOT a very productive day....but as my friend Gina and I like to say...."maybe tomorrow!"

Until then, sayonara!

What Mood Am I In? (A quiz for the unenlightened)

2009-01-24T17:51:00.000-08:00

Fractured, fragmented, frazzled. Industrious, indifferent, incognito. Hopeless, hopeful, hapless? Enlightened, encouraged, enraged. Lazy, exhausted, resigned. Yes, folks, all of these and so much more. Adjectives galore to describe my many and mundane moods, changing like the weather, like my clothes, like my stress level, like my life. Every day starts out a somewhat blank slate, waiting to be filled...with what? Some sort of measurable progress, to be sure...along with the usual and familiar routines. Coffee to wake me, a walk to soothe me, oatmeal to sustain me. Electronic communications, business issues to be addressed, personal crises to be ignored, financial disasters to be averted (or in some cases, not). Self-improvement projects begun (or not) and cast aside. Garbage to be disposed of, paper monsters to be tackled, friends to be called, magazines and books to be read and absorbed and passed along, knitting and sewing projects to be worked on. Hair to be cut. Yes, that's right, I've been cutting my own hair...do you have a problem with that?? I do!!! It's been months since I've had a professional haircut, and it looks like it! BUT as with everything else, I can't afford a haircut. I can't afford an oil change, either, though I'm horribly overdue. I can't afford anything, it seems, and it sucks. I did break down this week and buy a few much-needed grocery items, but man, it's just the bare necessities, enough to get me by. So I'm using bits of this and pieces of that, in every area of my life. Bits of leftover hair and beauty products (though I'm totally out of eye cream and have been for quite some time....I can't afford to buy any). A can of this, a package of that for dinner. A snippet of that, a bit of that, creating something lovely out of basically nothing. Consolidating pieces and parts, gathered from here and there, to reduce the footprint of my possessions. Put the struggling plant into the pretty empty pot that's been sitting around, use up the rest of the potting soil that's taking up space. Sew the fabric that's been gathering dust in a Rubbermaid tub for years and turn it into sleek window shades. I'm making do with so much less, it makes me wonder why I ever thought I needed anything more. I can't remember the last time I bought cheese or fresh fruit or a bottle of cheap wine or anything with an actual brand name. My clothes are falling off of me, I've lost so much weight. My friend Gina took me out for dinner the other night and it was the first time I've had a restaurant meal, an actual MEAL (not counting a cheeseburger) in months. I live on oatmeal and fried egg sandwiches and big pots of soup that I make last for days on end until I'm sick of looking at it. The piles of files and paperwork that I've allowed to accumulate for far too long are finally starting to dissipate. The stack of bills that I cannot begin to pay continues to grow, but one day soon I'll address those also. One thing at a time. I can't even handle the crucial expenses right now, let alone the others.....so they sit. One day soon I'll try to prioritize and make a plan, but for right now, I can't. My hands are tied. I'm thankful I don't live with anyone. I'd hate to subject anyone to my many moods or burden them with the stresses I'm under right now. It's best to be alone at times like this, I find. I tend to unload all my troubles on total strangers these days--my life is an open book, and all the sordid details of my situation become fodder for conversation with whomever happens to cross my path. I feel the need to vent a little steam off the pot rather than allow it to boil over. My friends, the dearest ones, listen patiently as I rant and worry and prattle on and on about the latest development in The Situation. I'm trying to regain some control over what I can so I won't stress out about what I can't. So my mood changes, like the weather, like my life, as I knit the yarn, eat the food, use up the lotion, sew the fabric. Sort the papers, tidy the sewing box, paint the paper, tailor the clothes. Do what I can, when I can, and hope for the best. Industrious, hopeful, determined, fearless. Unsinkable.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

2009-01-17T18:30:00.000-08:00

are you a tortoise, or a hare? i used to be a hare....racing through tasks and chores one after another after another, zipping around with energy to burn. no more! my progress on any given project seems to be so excruciatingly slow as to hardly be measured, in most cases. i wander around from one thing to another, eyeballing what needs to be done, doing the barest of minimums. at this pace, it takes forever to see any progress. i know my motto these past few years has been, One Thing At A Time. but all of a sudden that doesn't seem good enough anymore. today i actually see some progress being made. in the last 48 hours i've done some mindless chores--cleaning out my sewing supplies and making a big pile to pass along to my new friend Nancy, for one. things i've held onto thinking i'd use them someday, when by now it's obvious i'll never use them. i have a clearer vision of what i'm actually going to use, and what is better passed along to someone else instead of taking up valuable space and energy in my own life. selecting some things to give away, throw away, use in a different way....overall, trying to consolidate a bit more and pare down to the essentials. i've still a long way to go, but at least i can see some changes taking place. i'm really trying to lighten my load--and i've been on this bandwagon for a year now. i've gotten rid of so much stuff, i couldn't even begin to count it all. not one new thing comes in, and i'm making a concerted effort to make sure a steady stream of things goes out. it feels great. i'm totally in touch, now, with all my supply stashes for my various loves--knitting, sewing, jewelry making--and getting reacquainted with some old friends as well--watercolors, my old lino cutting tools. i ordered some ACEO blanks--the one exception to nothing new coming in--so i can start experimenting with that, and i'm thinking about some notecards. so much to explore, artistically. i've been a stranger to alot of my art supplies for a very long time, but i'm so thankful to have them. it feels great to be using up, slowly and steadily, at a tortoise's pace, all of those wonderful things i've hung onto for so long, waiting for this day. i know my year is going to be another tough one. i know i'll have many days ahead when i'll wonder how i got to be in this place in my life. i can't question it, and i can't look back. all i can do is look ahead and prepare for those days as best i can. by streamlining my systems and my possessions, organizing my life little by little, i'm preparing myself in the only way i know how. busywork, mindless chores, using my hands to create...these are the things that calm me. as i work, my brain is slowly able to wrap itself around the more pressing issues and formulate a calm and concise plan. it's just how i do things. i don't expect anyone else to understand it. i know i should be doing other things, but right now i just can't. right now, all i can do is try to regain some semblance of control over what i can, so that i won't lose my mind worrying and fretting over the things i can't. soon enough, push will come to shove. in the meantime, i'm trying to prepare myself physically and mentally and emotionally, so i can weather those storms when they arrive. that's it. plain and simple. and so i work, at the pace of a tortoise, puttering and plugging away and making progress the only way i know how. sooner or later, i'll get where i need to be. for now, less is more....and i'm focusing on having less. it's all good.

Ode to Winter, Part Two

2009-01-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

Ah, winter's chill....i'm sure i can still think of more ways to count why i hate thee....but instead, in keeping with my new POSITIVE frame of mind (!), i am going to list all the various and sundry things i L U V about winter. hmmmm. let me think.

flannel jammies, especially my pink poodle jammies!
mmmmm, flannel sheets......i love my flannel sheets!!!
hot tea in various flavors and at various times of day or night,
a purring cat in my lap,
pine trees frosted with snow, like right out of Currier & Ives,
the smell of woodsmoke and the thought of a nice toasty, cozy fireplace in somebody's house, even if it's not my own,
fresh, powdery snow....good ski snow....even if i can't afford to ski anymore, i still appreciate good ski snow.
i guess that's it!

ok. so i'm now officially done with that topic, and we can move on to the next. i never made my new year's resolutions. oops. and look how lazy i've gotten--no capitalization or punctuation! i think for me right now the important thing is to just write, so that's what i'm doing....and i don't want to have to think too much about it. so anyhoo. usually i'm religious about making a formal, long list of new year's resolutions. this year, for the first time in a long time, i didn't do it. instead i'm making this very informal list and hoping i can at least adapt one or two of these ideas. (more bullets)

read more books and fewer magazines. this should be a fairly easy one to keep, once i get rid of the backlog of magazines. i've always enjoyed a good read, but the last couple of years my stress level has made it hard to concentrate much, so i've stuck to the mags. this year i resolve to get back to my old reading habit. i miss it.
get out of this wintry weather and vacation somewhere sunny. i can't afford it right now, but it might happen anyway. a girl can dream, can't she? (gina? is that you?)
work on increasing my flexibility of mind and body. my inflexible thinking all these years has gotten me nowhere, and my inflexible body is paying the price (still!) for that slip on the ice last week. both obviously need work. i resolve to make this a priority.
continue in my quest to lighten up on stuff, possessions, baggage, and really, i mean, REALLY, simplify my life. it just needs to happen, plain and simple. it's time to just let it go.
DEAL WITH THE PAPER MONSTER. i am soooo very bad at this. i struggle with it daily. i've been struggling with it for years and years and years, to the point of ridiculousness. it has to stop. it's time to warm up the shredder and get to work. one mountain at a time.
get comfortable with my body. take care of it. appreciate it. don't be too hard on it. give it what it needs. the old gray mare ain't what she used to be--i need to tune in and pay attention.
extract myself from unpleasantness and don't cause myself unnecessary stress over things i can't control. this means bad moods, negative attitudes (my own and others'), bad weather, unfortunate circumstances, whatever. don't dwell. get past it. paste a big fake smile on my face and move on.
do what i can. nothing more, nothing less. whatever's in my power, just do it. and don't stress out over things i can't do.

there. i'm done. tomorrow i'll re-read this list, because i'm really just winging it...but for now, i think it's good. nighty night.

Ode to Winter

2009-01-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

Oh, winter's chill...how i hate thee. let me, in fact, count the ways. i despise:

thermal this, thermal that;
dressing like a boy, layers, layers and more layers until i feel and look like the michelin man...oh! the silk long johns! ah! the bulky sweaters, the space socks....all of it; ( i can't wait till summer comes and i can make up for lost time by letting all my fifty year old stuff hang out all over the place.)
cleaning off the car. again. some more.
warming up the car.
stuffing myself into the car, all bundled up in layers so i can't move.
hats, gloves, scarves, boots, coats, etc. etc. etc.
FALLING ON THE ICE!

i'm too tired for this right now....tomorrow i'll write more.

Off to a Flying Start!

2009-01-09T19:20:00.001-08:00

Good heavens, here we are nine days in to the New Year already....and it's slipping by so quickly! Already I'm noticing it's not getting dark so early....which is a GOOD thing. Though under normal circumstances I usually like the clean-slate feeling of the new year, this year I didn't get that so much...I kept waiting for it to hit, and I suppose it did in a minimal way, but I'm just not so gung-ho this year about making resolutions, lists, and whatnot. I think the past year's events have just kinda knocked the wind out of my sails--I just don't seem to have my old energy level, when it comes to anything. It's really hard to get motivated! And speaking of off to a flying start and getting the wind knocked out of my sails, guess what happened to me this morning? I slipped and fell right on my fifty-year-old ass. Well, actually, I take that back. My fifty-year-old knees. Yup. Slipped on the ice. One step onto a slick patch and it was too late, I was down for the count. It wasn't a HARD slam, oh it could have been much worse....but it was enough to give my back a little bit of a twist. Then over the course of the day I had two more near misses....I caught myself, though that likely just made the back thing worse. Thankfully I managed to hold on to Doris' leash. It would not have been good to have her red-sweater-clad frisky self gallavanting about the countryside! Sooooo. Here I sit. In the bed with my good buddy the trusty old heating pad. What I really need is a chiropractic appointment and a massage...but guess what? I can't afford it. So heat and ibuprofen it is. Hopefully I'll be able to crawl out of bed in the morning and not feel as though I've been hit by a truck.

Countdown

2008-12-31T13:27:00.001-08:00

Yaaaay, only a few more hours left in this stinkin' year. Woo hoooooo! I made an Etsy treasury today to celebrate the end of 2008, truly a miserable year for me and actually, for alot of people, economically speaking. Sure, I have lots to be thankful for.....and I'll expound on that tomorrow, when the slate is clean! But for now I want one last day of basking in the misery that has been my life this year, so I can put it behind me and look ahead to bigger and better things in 2009. Hope everyone is enjoying the last day of the year---I'll check in tomorrow!

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

2008-12-30T15:01:00.001-08:00

Okay! So I guess since I'm in list-making mode in preparation for the New Year, I'll just dive right in with another list format so maybe I can get it out of my system.

The Good:

My Etsy mini is working for the first time in weeks!
I got some stuff done today that needed doing. Not alot, but enough to make me feel somewhat productive.
I made a pretty pink fabric posy, something I've been wanting to try for quite some time.
I was in the right mood today and made another in the series of textile cuffs--this one is handbeaded and really substantial. I love it!
I Furminated one cat.
I wasn't all stressed out and tied up in knots like I was yesterday.
I'm cultivating a good feeling that The House Thing is going to work itself out. (Please.)

The Bad:

I am still procrastinating on some things that need to be addressed.
The entire tin of goodies my sister sent me is G O N E.
A huge--and I do mean, HUGE--pine tree fell down in my front yard in the windstorm the other day, and the tree guy I called can't come to look at it until NEXT WEEK. Agh! So it will have to rest in peace until he can get over here to check it out.
I've had a nagging headache off and on all day. Very distracting.

The Ugly:

My morning started off with a nasty old biddy SCREAMING at me from her front porch after Doris took a dump in the street. Now mind you, I could see she wasn't going to make it to her usual pooping spot, so I yanked her off the sidewalk so she wouldn't go on the walk or in somebody's yard....figured it was better in the street, where somebody would drive over it and it would disappear. But this nasty old hag shrieked at me about cleaning up after my dog, kept on shrieking even when I ignored her, then screamed "DO YOU HEAR ME???????" like she was my MOTHER or something. Sheeeeesh. Makes me want to collect all the dog poop I can find and go fling it in her yard. I mean, really. I don't need to start my morning off that way. What a bitter, nasty, spiteful, ugly old crab. UGH.

Soooooo anyhoo, that's it! Not too bad--only one instance of ugliness, and the good outweighed the bad, so I'm feeling like Life is Good.

Blabbety bla bla bla.

2008-12-28T17:44:00.000-08:00

A list of what's on my mind today (in no particular order):

I can't figure out why my Etsy shop mini doesn't show up here anymore. I can't seem to fix it, and it's frustrating the hell out of me.
I really, really want to buy two things: 1) some black licorice caramels from carameljubilee.etsy.com, so I can objectively interview her and rave about how good her stuff is, because I know it's gonna be phenomenal. But her shop is closed until next week! 2) the knitting pattern for the Rococo Shawl from Elena at http://www.tickledpinkknits.etsy.com. I've been wanting it forever because I have the most delicious cashmere yarn in the murkiest taupey gray color, and I've been waiting for the perfect thing to use it for, and I'm convinced the shawl is IT. Actually I can't even afford these little luxuries, as I'm behind on so many things I can't even spare a few bucks. Aargh. This austerity lifestyle is for the birds.
I've set a goal for what I want to weigh this summer, and I'm hellbent on achieving it, so I guess I really don't NEED those caramels anyhoo, right?
I need to cook the venison that's in the fridge before it spoils.
I MUST attend to some pesky chores tomorrow that I've been putting off, because I simply cannot put them off any longer....some packaging and shipping chores, and a sewing project (but not a fun one).
I have not heard from either my bank or my attorney or the prospective buyers of my house, and this is making me more than a little nervous, but I'm afraid to call anybody to find out what's going on because I'm afraid I don't want to know. (I know, I know....it's the Ostrich Mentality, but it's working for me for at least a couple more days.)
The pile of stuff sitting in the living room waiting to go to the thrift shop is really getting on my nerves and is growing larger and larger as I keep adding things to it...which is both good and bad.
I'm out of both milk and bread, ooooh and COFFEE, which means I...must....go.....to.....grocery......store. (UGH.)
All of the animals need to be Furminated and I'm not in the mood for Furmination festivities at this time.
I've got a hankering for something sweet (like the licorice caramels discussed above), but there's nothing sweet in the cupboards and I don't feel like dirtying a pan to make my usual standby at times like this, which is Chocolate No-Bakes.
My financial situation is bleak, to put it mildly.
I need a haircut really, really, really bad and can't afford one, so I've been whacking away at it myself, which is a bad thing because I'm going to end up looking like Joan of Arc in that old movie, crudely shorn and waiting to get burned at the stake.....or maybe even Uncle Charlie on My Three Sons.
I need to alter my pants so they'll fit properly but I only want to sew for FUN, and altering pants is never that.
I need to buy new bras because mine have had it, and The Girls need to be properly propped (but I can't afford it). UGH!!!
I need to organize my tax stuff and my Etsy paperwork (a weakness of mine, the paper monster) but I'd rather just shred it all.
I want to make some new textile pieces but can't seem to find the time when I've got the motivation.
I'm overdue for an oil change and I really shouldn't let it go because I've now got 245K on the Smmoochmobile (but I can't afford it).
I'm starting to sound like a broken record.
I have no plans for New Year's Eve, which is nothing new, but a wee bit disheartening just the same.
I'm wondering whether I'll see my new crush again this week and I'm hope, hope, hoping that I will.
I'm worried about how on earth I'm going to make it through the winter.
I stubbed my pinky toe this morning and it hurts like a BITCH.
It's cold in here but I'm being really cheap about running the space heater.
It's been forever since I read a good book, but by the time I settle in to read at night, I'm too tired to make any sense of things.
Even though it's been 11 years since she passed away, I still miss my mom.
I don't like what my skin is doing since I turned fifty.
I'd still like to write a nasty holiday newsletter to those rotten, evil bitches I used to work with, even though it's been two years now and I know I should just let it go.
My horoscope says $$$ is coming my way, and I can't help but wonder/hope/pray that it's right.
I can't wait to wash my makeup off and slather on my anti-aging preparations and crawl into bed.
Owwww! My toe hurts!!!
I can't help thinking how thankful I am that this year's almost over. It's been a bad one.
I wish I could go on a tropical vacation somewhere and just lie on a beach and forget all my troubles and read all day and tan all my exposed flesh and take naps and drink and dance and be merry and be surrounded by handsome boys competing for my affections. (I love it here on Fantasy Island!!!)

It's That Time of Year

2008-12-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

That's right, folks. The New Year is nearly upon us, and boy, am I glad! This year has sucked in so many ways, I can't wait to get it over with. Every year at this time I get a hankering for starting over, starting fresh, getting rid of cumbersome and extraneous bullshit. A clean slate. A new outlook. Simplicity. Organization. C-O-N-T-R-O-L. Gosh, that sounds good, after the out-of-control, complicated, mind-cluttering year I've had. Now if only I can get The Powers That Be (and you know who you are, you stubborn idiots) to go along with my plan, I'll be on the road to normal again before you know it. (Normal? What's that????) So anyhoo. That said, there's another pile to go to the thrift, more paperwork to go into the shredder, old lipsticks to be thrown away, a junk drawer to clean. Old maid socks to go in the trash, their hopes of finding a mate dashed forever. Unfinished projects, doomed to be in limbo for years to come, are finding new homes as we speak. It exhausts me to even look at some of this stuff anymore, so out it goes. Out with the old, in with the new...so the saying goes. In this case, though, it's just out with the old. I don't want anything new. I just want less. I want freedom from my cluttered mind and my cluttered surroundings and my unfinished beeswax. Lord, let my beeswax get finished, let my dust settle, let my path become clearer, and let the obstacles be removed. I can't take much more. It needs to be done.

Nice Weather (if you're a duck).

2008-12-09T09:38:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Sitting here in Hellsdale, damp and dreary and dreadful. Raining cats and dogs. The house is so ghastly on days like this...dark and gloomy and, shall we say, unwelcoming. The driveway is a mudpit. Not a good day for company but alas, I'm expecting visitors this afternoon. Hopefully the outcome of their visit will be a good one (fingers crossed, saying a little prayer).

In the meantime I'm sitting at the library taking advantage of the free internet. A quick look around validates the claim made on the sign when you drive into town: Hillsdale. It's the People. But more on that another day! Once I've escaped this place for good I can expound at length about why it is I feel the need to escape it. For now, I'll clam up and sit tight until a good resolution comes to pass.

I am thinking good thoughts, despite the dreariness. Visualizing good and positive things and people coming in to my life; bad, negative stuff (and people) flowing out. Worrying about things is getting me nowhere good. I'm really trying to stay positive and stay afloat somehow. It's not easy but it's a must at this particular point in my life. If not for my family and friends I'd be totally insane by now. As it is, I'm hanging on by a thread, day by day.

Soooo anyhoooooo. Send me some good vibes this day, that a good and expeditious solution to my biggest problem is on the way. If I can resolve this one huge thing, then I can start focusing on the smaller tasks at hand and try to move forward one step at a time. Try to put the pieces of my life back together, one at a time. Please, let this saga end. I'm tired and I need a break.

Tonight I'll have dinner with my sister, and I can't wait. She, the worryer of the family. Me, the lost and floundering black sheep. I'll savor every mouthful of the big, fat, greasy cheeseburger I'm going to be eating in just a few short hours. And I'll bask in the love of my sister. I know I'm causing her (and all the rest of my family!) immeasurable quantities of worry, and I'm sorry! It is what it is, as Neal says. I'll get through it.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to that cheeseburger! Mmmmm mmmmmmm. And thinking (or at least trying to think) positive thoughts! : )

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

2008-12-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning with a crick in my back that I haven't been able to work out all day, despite craning my neck, stretching, walking. By midday the crick had turned into a tension headache, the kind that just pounds the front of your head and will not stop. Ugh. I can feel that my neck and back need to pop, but I just can't seem to get them there. Sitting doesn't help. Standing doesn't help. So I'm in bed, with the heating pad on (I know, I know---ice is better! But it's chilly in here and I just can't bear to ice so I'm heating instead!). I took some ibuprofen, which I hope kicks in soon.

Whine, whine, whine. It seems all I do lately is whine. I hate it. There's got to be an end in sight. All this stress is wearing me down. I feel like an old hag. The physical manifestations are frightening. Gray hair, wrinkles, zits. Back problems, shoulder spasms, tension headaches. UGH.

On a brighter note, I sleep like I'm in a coma---my brain is so exhausted. And I'm losing weight, which is welcome! I can wear jeans I haven't been able to wear in two years! I've wanted to lose weight so I'm happy that the pounds are starting to melt off a bit.....but at what price? I don't want to wind up a skinny crazy lady. Hah! As if!

So anyhooooo I had good intentions today, really I did. I woke up full of energy and with a list a mile long of what I wanted to get done. Then the headache arrived, and one thing led to another, and the day slipped away (as they often do) without much being accomplished. I did manage to get to the hardware store (actually, two) to buy a replacement plug for my space heater (which busted after I shut the cord in the car door, hence wearing a thin spot in the cord and causing a meltdown). So I got that fixed. And I got rid of some bottle returns and bought (gasp!) some MEAT to cook. Which I didn't end up cooking because the headache took my appetite away. But maybe tomorrow. I just was in the mood for some meat. Ya know? And I did start getting my two Etsy shops consolidated....because I only want one, so I got started on that, and I did a little knitting on a hat, and started a box of giveaway clothing for the thrift store.

But that's about it. Another day is done. Another awaits, tomorrow. Goodnight.

Winter, Schminter.

2008-11-27T21:12:00.001-08:00

Ugh. Much as I hate to admit it, winter's on its way. So this week's been devoted to getting ready for it, one way or another. Tightening up the house with a little extra insulation here and there, putting away the yard furniture (finally!), even stringing up some holiday lighting and slapping a wreath on the front door of the old homestead. I haven't really plotted out my holiday decorating plan yet this year, and granted, it won't be as elaborate as past years....but it's the thought that counts, right? So much of my stuff is packed already because I thought I'd be moved by now....but here I am, still back-and-forthing and still officially calling Hellsdale my home, much to my chagrin. Hopefully soon this mess will be resolved and I can get out of here once and for all. In the meantime, I'll just have a half-assed Christmas this year, with half my stuff gone, and the other half still here. In between getting the chores done and dusting off the holiday decorations and running errands, I made time for some social activities this week, as well....and they were much needed, believe me. A very long lunch with my dear old friend and ex-neighbor at the old Higby house was just what my weary spirit needed. A few hours spent with The Nose, a few glasses of wine at Daryl's, a few tears and a lot of laughs were just what the doctor ordered. Lunch with my only dear friend in Hellsdale provided a needed respite from life's stresses, as well, as did a Thanksgiving Eve night on the town with the girls in Jacktown. Ahhh. Girlfriends. Guy friends. I love them all. I'll miss them all when I'm gone, but since I'm not gone yet, I'll enjoy their company while I still can. And when I do finally get gone, everyone's welcome to come out to New York for a visit! Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'll just keep on getting ready for whatever winter has in store for me. And dust off more of those Christmas lights, will ya?

Texture. Textiles. Tactile.

2008-11-21T13:23:00.000-08:00

I'm having such fun with these little cuffs. The sewing is quick and painless, just enough to satisfy me...uncomplicated, giving me instant gratification as the stitches roll out in lines and curves, zigs and zags and straight. The fabrics are a delight, the embellishments an art. Lace, feathers, pearls. Satin, linen, brocade. Yum.

It's All About the Fiber.....

2008-11-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

Yeah. Lately it's really all about the fiber, the textiles, the yarns, the fabrics I've been hoarding all these years. I'm not sure why, but I'm loving putting together the combinations of things. Every time I walk by my work table I arrange the little piles of materials that are slowly taking shape and turning ideas into tangible things. Things that were only in my head and not fully formed, ever so slowly evolve and become beautiful little objects that make me thankful and proud.

I take comfort in working with my hands, be it knitting or sewing or drawing or gardening or whatever. There's just something calming about it that makes me feel better, and it's always been that way for me. When I was little I tried every form of needlework I could. I learned to knit when I was eight. My friend Janet's mother taught us both, and I still remember that first pair of needles. Grass green plastic, with a salty taste if you put one in your mouth...size eight. I made scarves. I was hooked. After that I crocheted granny squares, I embroidered aprons and pillowcases, I sewed swimsuits and shirts and pillows. I made macrame wallhangings and needlepoint eyeglass cases and decoupage boxes and textural collages and you name it, I did it.

And always, I doodled, but mostly I drew. Line drawings of fashion--shoes and purses, tall women wearing beautiful things. Landscapes. Odd abstract designs, intricate renderings of crazy quilts and fruit and sunsets. I haven't done any drawing in a really long time other than just some loose concept sketches of things I want to make. Maybe I should start thinking about getting the pencils back out and doing some drawing.

Anyhoo--I digress. I guess at this particular time in my life, when my personal stress is at a lifetime high, so bad I honestly don't know how much worse it could get (I really don't--I'm not exaggerating!), I take comfort in making things. So that's what I'm doing. I'm ignoring everything else. All the big stuff, I'm just pretending it's not even there. In the mornings I walk. I walk and I think, and when the thinking starts making me feel so stressed I start imagining I'm having chest pains, I stop thinking and concentrate on feeling...how it feels to walk, to move, to get my blood moving after a good night's sleep. Then I come home and I knit and I sew and I knit some more. My mind can't process what's happening in my life so I just tune it out and let my hands work while my mind wanders to a blank space that's bearable. Right now it's the only thing keeping me sane. Things in real life will get sorted out in due time, but for now, the tactile experience is what I seek. The feeling of cotton and linen and silk and velvet, the stitches coming off the old Singer in a straight row....the satisfying feel of fine mohair and wool and cashmere slipping through my fingers, flying from one smooth wooden needle onto the other as the rows of fine work unfold, as a thing of beauty appears before my eyes for the very first time.

I look around at the stuff that is mine, the things that surround me, and all of a sudden, it's just meaningless stuff. Possessions. What does any of it really matter? For me, right now, it's all about the fiber. I don't know why, and I don't need to know. It just is.

Do I Have ADD?

2008-11-07T19:12:00.000-08:00

Or is it ADHD?? Or is it just that I'm 50 and feeling worn out, stressed out, wrung out? I swear. I can sit here all day thinking about what I want to do but doing nothing, then I want to start 14 different things and do them all at once, not finishing any of them....all the while thinking about 42 more things I feel like doing! Grrrrr. My creativity, my available time, my motivation, my mood, and my energy SERIOUSLY need to get in synch. Some days, it's like.....wow. Bang, bang, bang...stuff gets done. But those days seem fewer and farther between. Most of the time it's a struggle. For instance, right now...here I sit, laptop on my lap. Two unfinished knitting projects downstairs. One unstarted, right beside me. A two-month-old Oprah magazine, half read. Peanut butter cookie dough, in the fridge, unbaked. It will all get done, sooner or later, right? Maybe tomorrow.

My Textile Obsession

2008-11-02T18:50:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure what it's all about, exactly. I mean, I've been collecting/hoarding/stashing snippets of fabric and lace and pieces and parts of things for so long--years, really--always knowing one day I'd make something out of them all....but the last few months, I've been really starting to group things together. Then in the last few weeks, the groupings started taking on a life of their own, being further refined and arranged. Then over last few days, little treasures began forming in my mind and rapidly coming to fruition. A piece here, a snippet there, a tatter here....and voila! New stuff. Cuffs, chokers, ringbearer pillows, handkerchiefs.....whatever strikes my fancy. I'm totally digging the putting-it-all-together part. And I can honestly say I love what I'm making, truly I do. What's weird about it, different from other things I've made, is these aren't things I'd wear or choose, necessarily, but I love them just the same. It's an odd feeling. Usually when I make things, I want to keep them, I want to wear them. These new things don't suit my style so much, though I wish they did. Maybe I'm getting ready to metamorphose into some new incarnation of tattered, upcycled femininity? I dunno. It's odd. In the meantime, I long to find homes for my new things....send them away to somebody else who will covet and love and cherish them. That's it. I want to make them, then say goodbye. I wonder if this phenomenon is relevant somehow to the state of my life right now? Hmmmm. I'm not sure what it all means--or maybe it means nothing at all--but it's food for thought, isn't it?

Ok, ok.

2008-11-02T17:17:00.001-08:00

So the weekend's been a good one. I met some nice people, so that was cool. Hopefully I'll be able to make some new friends, because I'm already missing my old ones and I haven't even really left them yet. Once I'm able to stop all this back-and-forthing between Michigan and New York, I'll be better able to concentrate on things and just generally start getting my life back in order. I hope. So anyhoo. The week ahead promises to be full of chores, tasks, and annoying little details that need to be taken care of...with a couple of long days of driving and alot of stress thrown in, for good measure! But I'm looking ahead to putting some old things behind me and doing some new stuff here on the blog, namely, I'm going to start featuring some Etsy artists and showcasing their products. We need to help each other out. I'm all for doing a good deed and passing it along. That said, I'll be highlighting the delightful caramels of my new Etsy forum friend, Caramel Jubilee, so stay tuned for that interview. In the meantime, you can check out her shop here: http://www.carameljubilee.etsy.com/ I'm signing off for now--it's time to take Miss Doris on her promenade, then into my poodle jammies for the night. The time change has me all out of whack....spring forward, fall apart. Ta ta for now.

Oh!

2008-10-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

And I wonder why I can't get my blog posts to have proper spacing between the paragraphs....I can't seem to figure it out! So if you know what I'm doing wrong, please tell me! Because it's frustrating the hell out of me!

Motivation. I Need Some.

2008-10-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

I've really been paralyzed of late. I'm finding it really difficult to get anything done, try as I might. It's obvious I need more structure in my life, but it's really hard to establish it right now when everything's so topsy-turvy! Anyhoo. I'm trying to "Make a Thing a Day", I guess. Yesterday it was the textile cuff with the cool vintage fabrics. Today so far I've stitched some 'dummies'...the inside pillows I use when making ringbearer pillows...so this way the drudgery is done and I can have fun doing the creative part. I'm almost ready to sit down at the sewing machine and see what happens next. But in the meantime.....I knit a few rows, I look at my Etsy paperwork that needs sorting, I make another cup of tea, I look at my two Etsy packages that need to be shipped (tardy!), I sit and wonder why I don't just get off my duff and get something done. Good question!

Morning Pages?

2008-10-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I shouldn't write anything for public consumption before I've finished my coffee....I did it yesterday, in the form of an email to my sister, and it caused quite an uproar within the family ranks. So I should stop in my tracks right now, just stop. But I miss writing my morning pages--I've gotten off my routine with that--and somehow I just feel like blithering on and on about something this morning, so here goes.

So anyhoo. It's a beautiful morning out there, sunny and clear, and I wish I could say the same for my head, but I can't. I awoke with a pounding stress headache. A walk will help.

When I get back, there is much for me to do. Things to be put away, laundry to be done, plans to be made, but most of all, projects to work on. An assortment of beautiful little snippets of fabric and trims and assorted textile lovelies, just waiting to be turned into little pretties. I think maybe today will be a day for ringbearer pillows, or textile corsage/cuffs, or....who knows? My hands feel the need to be busy, my head needs a break from the stress I'm under. I need to create today, turn little pieces of nothing into something wonderful. My mind and my hands need to collaborate today and make something, make it happen, make it come together...and while I work, my mind can spin as it will and maybe out of the spinning will come a solution to all of life's problems. Ahhhh. If only it were that easy. Now wouldn't that be nice?

Rain, Rain, Rain.

2008-10-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

We've enjoyed such beautiful fall weather, especially on the weekends, I suppose it was inevitable we'd have a crappy, rainy, dreary Saturday afternoon. And boy, it's been a doozy.

I tried to make the best of it by firing up the sewing machine and mass-producing lavender sachet pillows (15 so far, in little bundles of three). I want to keep going until I've used this particular fabric all up--it's a heavenly, heavyweight vintage linen, with a gorgeous blue damask print (look to your right, and you'll see what I'm talking about). Or until I run out of lavender and buckwheat hulls, whichever happens first.

I ironed a bunch of vintage aprons that had been in storage, so they are all crispy and ready to go. And I continued working on getting my sewing supplies situated. And my jewelry supplies.

Next I think I might do some knitting, or maybe put together a new wrap wrist corsage...not sure what kind of mood I'm in yet. It's a good night to hunker down with a good book or a movie or some needlework. Stay in and stay warm. Try to take my mind off my troubles. Maybe talk on the phone for a bit, flip through a magazine. I dunno. How are YOU spending your Saturday night?

The L O N G Commute on the Road to My New Life.

2008-10-17T18:20:00.001-07:00

Back and forth. New York to Michigan, Michigan back to New York again. Sigh. Little by little, bit by bit, my life is being transferred. A truckload here, a carload there. Boxes, bins, Rubbermaid tubs. Schlep, shuffle, shuffle. Heave ho. Goodwill loves me. I'm carefully, tentatively, carving out some new routines. Change. It's good. Hard, but good. In my heart I know this, difficult as these days have been, there's good ahead. Out with my old life. In with my new one. One thing at a time. So while I'm here in New York this trip, I'll try to make as much progress as I can, before I do the long commute back to deal with the mess that is my Michigan life right now. Send me some good vibes, will ya? It can't hurt, and I'd sure appreciate it.

1) Light at the End of the Tunnel. 2) Ben Gay is My Friend.

2008-10-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I'll admit, I'm getting a little stiff and crickety in my old age....but never moreso than this past couple of weeks, when all I've done seems to have involved hard physical labor.

Never mind that my new residence-to-be is 18 steps upstairs, then another 16 or so upstairs to the bedroom and bathroom. Never mind that the 14-foot U-Haul I rented to get out here was stuffed to the ceiling with nearly all my daughter's worldly goods, with a few of mine thrown in....four hours of loading, two hours of unloading, and many, many hours of arranging still ahead. Never mind that I'm so dead-to-the-bone exhausted that I can hardly function physically, let alone think straight. Never mind that I have so much on my mind that I blew through a stop sign heading out of town on the drive out. Oh yeah, and never mind that my shoulder and my back are causing me to eat ibuprofen like it's candy, sleep with a heating pad, and slather on the Ben Gay like it's going out of style. No, never mind all that.

The important thing is, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. And, as I like to tell myself, it will all be right. Yes, it will. I can feel it in my bones. I just need to get through it.

We all know, change is never easy. And heaven knows I've been through enough changes the last couple of years to last me a lifetime. I'm definitely ready for my dust to settle. And you know what? It will. And it will all be right. I know this.

My shop is taking shape in my head. My dream will come to fruition, eventually. It's all good. I need to stop whining about how tired I am and focus on how great I'm gonna feel when things finally start happening, right?

Oh. And about that light at the end of the tunnel? That's what I named my Etsy Treasury this week. I still haven't figured out the whole Picture-in-the-Blog-Post thing, so it's up above rather than down here. I really need to work on my photo skills, here. Yikes.

I Hate Goodbyes. Really.

2008-10-07T19:28:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying to skip out on most of them.....just slink off into the sunset. Because every time I think about saying goodbye to certain people, I just burst into tears. And I hate crying! Oh, how I hate it! So I'm really trying to just avoid the whole kit and caboodle. If I'm leaving without saying a proper goodbye, please forgive me...but I just can't do it. Call me chicken, call me a wuss, call me a coward. It's all true. It's making my eye twitch just thinking about it. And you know my eye only twitches when I'm totally stressed out. Which I am, at this particular point in time. So..... So long! I'm still gonna be back and forth until I can get this whole house mess wrapped up, anyhoo. So it's not really goodbye YET. Even though it feels like it. Sob. Sniff. TTFN. (That means, Ta ta, for now).

Rocktober. Woo Hoo.

2008-10-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

September zipped by so damned fast I hardly had time to think. Here it is, October First, and for some reason that date always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. All those years of working for state government (JUST SHOOT ME!) and having all those stupid fiscal-year-end deadlines (UGH!!!!! The dreaded Nagging Nancy--"Get your invoices in!!!") have permanently imbued my brain with a crappy feeling about OCTOBER FIRST. Other than the fact that it's my Old Boss Psycho Jesus' Fiftieth Birthday (Happy Birfday, Pawww), I just can't think of anything good about October First. Especially when I wanted to be moved by now. Today, however, was somehow different. I woke up in the mood for absorbing knowledge and making plans. Odd. I read for quite a while, really early, some extremely deep doodoo that required a second pot of coffee to comprehend and retain. I even took notes to re-read throughout the day, in hopes of permanently imbedding a new way of thinking in my head.

Now, I like self-help books as much as the next girl. Which is to say, infrequently, in small doses, when I'm in the right mood and not feeling like it's a bunch of new-age, hokey bullshit. But for some reason this morning my self must have been feeling the need for some help and ready to accept it, because I just kept at it until I was all the way through. My thought process today was calmer, as a result. I took care of some loose ends that have been nagging at me for quite some time. I took some steps toward my major goal of the moment. I focused on the positive (which I usually do anyway) and I really tried to put my intent out there for the Universe to respond to. And voila! I was rewarded this evening in a pretty major way that at least made me a believer again and provided a good foundation for what I might accomplish or receive tomorrow.

Think I'll go over those notes one more time, before I turn out the light. I'm thinking October's gonna rock. Oh...and Z? Here's to you, man. Happy Birfday. You can get your AARP discount now.

Well, Yikes. Where'd September Go? And, Oh, Yippee!!! I Got an Etsy Treasury Today!

2008-09-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

Good heavens. I blinked, and the month is totally shot. My life has been a blur of boxes and packing and shuffling and schlepping. It seems endless. I knew I'd been neglecting my blogging 'habit', but jeeeeez.....I just didn't realize it's been this long. Anyhoo. Though the day is dreary outside today, good stuff is happenin'. I scored my very first Treasury this morning on Etsy---truly a delight! It took some doing but once I got the hang of it, I was hooked. So without further ado, here's my very first attempt (pardon the formatting, but it's my first attempt at a screen shot, too, and apparently I need to tweak my skills): Pretty exciting. Especially when it just kinda happened, like, BAM! the opportunity was there, and I jumped in and did it, with no forethought or preparation or planning. Very fun.

TGIF!

2008-09-05T04:27:00.000-07:00

Not exactly sure why I'm glad it's Friday.....it doesn't really make much difference, lately, what day of the week it is; they are all one in their sameness. This morning, however, feels somewhat different in that I awoke from a fitful night's tossing with a new resolve and a plan.

A deadline looms in the not-too-distant future, and I must get my big ole butt in gear if I am to meet said deadline. That said, I need to get back to my old ways.

Yesterday I read a blog post which talked about lists...specifically, To Do lists. I'm a huge believer in lists. If it's not on the list, it doesn't exist. I'm also a huge believer of the concept One Thing At a Time. In real life lately, though, I've thrown both of those defining mantras out the window and have been flyin' by the seat of my pants. Starting today, that needs to end. Starting today, I need to tackle my chores and tasks with a well thought out and defined plan. If I don't, I'll still be floundering when my deadline arrives, and then I'll really be up a creek without the proverbial paddle.

That said, today is going to be a day of list making and focusing clearly on what needs to be done to accomplish my goals, One Thing At a Time.

I'm a sound sleeper who needs and values my good night's sleep, and I usually am out like a light within five minutes of hitting the pillow. Last night not only did I have difficulty getting there, but I had weird dreams (most of which I can't recall) and tossed about like a ship on a choppy sea, head spinning with thoughts of all I need to get done, fears about the future, and a sense of overwhelmed panic. Finally at five a.m. I gave up and crawled out of bed, determined to make some serious progress today instead of letting the day slip away unused.

I don't have time to waste. I've squandered enough already. It's time to get my personal show on the road, stop procrastinating, and get where I need to be.

So Much To Do, So Little Time (and Energy)

2008-09-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

Yikes. Where has the week gone? Here it is Thursday already (it is Thursday, right? Isn't it??), and I've accomplished very little of what was on my To Do List this week. Or rather, I should say, ONE of my to do lists, as there are several. Scattered about here and there, with no semblance of order....I remember back in the day, not so long ago, when my lists were dutifully entered into my planner, even color coded! But not anymore. Life has taken over in a big way and caused me to become much less organized (dammit), much less structured, much more flexible. Which in the long run is probably a good thing, but in the short term is driving me stark raving mad. But I digress! So anyhoo. As I write this I'm sitting with an icepack on my aching back, looking around at the boxes and piles and utter disarray that is my living room/bedroom/office.....I've been packing stuff, but there's just so much of it. I got the art supplies pretty well packed, and I consolidated my knitting supplies and reorganized them so they're ready to go. I bundled up all my Etsy stuff so it's all in one place. I'm working on consolidating the sewing stuff, going through boxes of fabric and trims. There are clothes piled hither and yon, stacked to pack for New York, hanging on the door....boxes of stuff to be taken to Goodwill tomorrow or the next day. Things to return to my friend Terri. A couple of Etsy orders ready to be shipped, fabric laid out for a custom bridal set I'll be sewing. Things brought home from my antique booth in Allen, which I cleared out on Monday, with the help of my friend Bob. Knitting projects underway, a book I need to finish so I can return it to its rightful owner..... In short: total disarray still reigns in my house, but I do believe progress is being made. Thank God. The end isn't quite in sight yet, but there is a tiny little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, so that's what I'm focusing on. Goodnight.

Whoa.

2008-08-31T20:15:00.000-07:00

What's supposed to be a long, leisurely holiday weekend--that last blast of summer, to be savored before fall kicks into gear--has proven to be just another blur of busyness.

The whirlwind has picked back up, full tilt....once again, I'm surrounded by stuff, trying to deal with the sheer magnitude of all my worldly goods. Boxed, bagged, stashed, stored, packed, transported. Thrown away, given away, put away. Inventoried, listed, moved, shuffled, schlepped. Agh. An absolutely overwhelming amount of stuff. Trying to move it all or even just DEAL with it all is a monumental task.

I've been boxing art supplies, sewing supplies, jewelry supplies, knitting supplies. Packing kitchen things and Etsy things. Shoes, clothes, camping gear.

The Goodwill pile is growing. The giveaway pile is growing.

Tomorrow my dear friend Bob is coming for coffee and breakfast, then we're taking his truck to Allen to empty my antique booth. It will be nice to have one less location to worry about. One chapter closed.

I'm tired. My back is killing me. I'm going to bed now.

Etsy Treasuries!

2008-08-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

I've been having a bit of a dry spell on Etsy the past ten days or so......no sales to speak of (which is NOT good)....and I haven't been scoring any spots in Treasuries, either. But this morning I checked (not that I'm obsessed or anything) and lo and behold....I'm featured in not one, but TWO treasuries! You can see them here: http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=4364 http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=3876

Retail Therapy, Part Deux

2008-08-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay. So I'm all shopped out. I've pretty much completely redone my entire wardrobe, I think.

When I lost my job nearly two years ago, I got rid of all my 'work clothes'. I promptly ditched any semblance of the conservative, uptight office wardrobe I'd worn for years. Suits? Out (except one I couldn't bear to part with and had hardly worn). Pumps? Gone. Boring skirts and sweaters and pants and jackets? Buh-bye.

Since then I've been wearing jeans, yoga pants, the much-mentioned Garbage Pants AKA Soccer Mom Khakis. Dirt colors. Comfortable stuff for knocking around in. But with my upcoming and hopeful career change, I need to look polished and cool and stylish and successful, right? In other words, my wardrobe needed a boost. I don't want to look like I don't care. I want to look cute.

So with the help of Dear Daughter, I've been upgrading my wardrobe, and I'm happy to report, my closet is filling with stylish, colorful, dare I say trendy (gasp!) new items that I can't wait to wear. Plum. Grass green. A wonderful brown. Some really great stuff.

Yesterday's haul, all courtesy of T. J. Maxx (where bargains abound): grey pants, a fabulous khaki colored heavyweight linen short-sleeved jacket, a vividly grassy green shirt with some really cute detailing. A wild print girly blouse with all kinds of great fall colors in it. A white linen shirt with cute sleeves and a square neck. A long camel knit tunic with a nice neckline for showing off my necklaces. And my favorite: a luscious plummy feminine sheer blouse with short poufy sleeves and a drawstring neckline.

I can't wait--I'm excited because I've ditched my dowdy old things and have cute new stuff to wear! Woo hoo!

Mission Accomplished (Oooh, My Aching Back)

2008-08-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's the backstory to this little tale (there's always a backstory, no?).

Months and months and months ago, when my little shop was only a gleam in my eye and a distant hope and wish, I spied a classified ad for an antique showcase for sale. Hmmmm, said I. This would be great for when I have a little shop of my own, someday! I inquired about this spectacular piece (nearly 13 feet long, made of glass, with painted Queen Anne style wooden legs), made arrangements to see it, fell in love with it, yada yada yada. The case was located in West Hurley (near Woodstock), and the owner, Corey, graciously agreed to let me store the case until I could make arrangements to move it.

Fast forward to several long months later. I'm still not living here, Corey has grown somewhat impatient, as her reason for selling the piece in the first place was to free up space in her garage. A series of events necessitated delay after delay in getting the thing outta there. To further complicate matters, I started worrying and fretting over whether we could even get the case into the available storage, due to its gigantic proportions and the particular slant and angle of the only entry door.

Enter Gentleman Joe, the handyman guy. And Dan, the U-Haul guy. And Corey, the ever-patient Corey, and her adorable mother, still in her nightie. And my sleepy, starving, crabby daughter--a self-described ticking time bomb who found the fact that I even bought the thing totally preposterous, once she laid eyes on it.

So today was the day. Up bright and early, running late as usual, we grabbed a 14-foot U-Haul truck with a loading ramp. Now mind you, the Smmoochmobile is a tiny little thing, and that's what I'm used to driving....I despise driving anything larger! So here I am driving this huge, rambling, rumbling BIG truck and hightailing it over to West Hurley, whereupon we were greeted by Gentleman Joe (who had by now been patiently waiting nearly a half hour--wow, I make a great first impression, do I not???) who shook his head sadly and announced he didn't think the showcase would fit. Which would have really, truly sucked. Disheartened, I bowed my head in angst. I muttered. I cursed. I swore. I very nearly gave up and started looking for a storage unit.

BUT. My philosophy has always been where there's a will, there's a way.

And voila! Two hours, lots of maneuvering, some disassembling, the door off the hinges, and much hoisting and huffing later, the thing is in there. In pieces, mind you, but it's in there. No glass was broken, no fingers were crushed, no walls were dented....just like Ragu, it's in there.

My back is killing me. But since my whole vision of everything revolves around that showcase, someday to be filled with small antiques and a hoard of my handmade jewelry, it's worth every ache and pain. I can cross one more thing off my list and proceed on to the next big thing.....which is, take two ibuprofen...and don't call me in the morning, because I'll be on the road back to Michigan.

Retail Therapy

2008-08-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Yikes. I haven't been shopping (I mean, REALLY shopping) in such a long time I'd forgotten what it's like...but yesterday my daughter and her friend and I cruised over to Kingston for a little shopping jaunt that turned into a mucho successful marathon session at our favorite discount chain.

Now mind you, the dressing rooms at said chain allow only eight items in at a time.....and yours truly had, if I recall correctly, approximately 20 items....so it took quite some time to try everything on. Three hours, two pairs of pants, a skirt, a sweater, three tops, and the most magnificently darling pair of pointy black high-heeled Mary Janes later, I dragged myself out to the car, lugging my treasures. And guess what? I won the prize for the biggest bag!

If you read my Fashion Tip this week, you'll know that my wardrobe has been sorely lacking for color...and I admit, I had to chuckle when my daughter commented that the pile of clothes in my cart looked "like a rock with moss growing on it". True to form, I picked murky shades....but not much black, so that was a step in the right direction....and I did end up with an orange tank and a really cute cherry red knit top...oh and some colorful panties, which are always a plus.

So! With the chill in the air this past week, I'm sure it won't be long before I'll be donning my stylish new autumnal duds and busting out of my fashion rut.....and you know what that means. Buh-bye, Soccer Mom Khakis. Which, by the way, have now been dubbed The Garbage Pants, as that's where they're going. Soon.

A Salute to Highway Construction Workers Everywhere

2008-08-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. What is it about those highway workers that makes them so irresistible? I've been making the ten and a half hour drive back and forth, back and forth, from Michigan to New York and back again and again and again, and always, ALWAYS, the construction workers catch my eye. Hot, sweaty, dirty, tired, gritty....but always alert enough to check out a couple of gals in a red car (albeit a ten-year-old one, with 230K miles on it) and make my shotgun-riding blondie daughter smile. After a long, tough day, I needed to see a smile on her pretty face. "So," I say. "I see you're catching the attention of the construction workers." "Nah," she smiles and says. "I think it's just the magic of the Smmoochmobile." That's good enough for me. Whatever works. And a great big smmoooooch to all you handsome creatures out there, toiling away on our highways and byways. We salute you.

...To All the Men I've Loooved Before (Sung, like the Willie Nelson song, right?)

2008-08-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

I was thinking earlier I should do a post in the Musings on Men section about how I wish I could make a man, using my favorite thing about all the guys who've been important in my life at one time or another...how cool it would be if I could take the best characteristic from each one, mix them all together, and voila! I'd have the perfect man for me. This is definitely food for thought. I mean, each one had his strong suit....some of which I'd gladly share, some more personal. They've all had one thing in common, though: a sense of humor. That's a major requirement, in my Book of Love, the one thing I treasure more than anything. Hmmmm. More on this topic later. Also had another great idea, after hearing a song on the radio that made me think of Pete. I should compile a list of songs and who they remind me of. Take a little trip down memory lane. Too tired for this right now, but will definitely consider it when I'm more alert. Oh. And the song that reminded me of Pete? Ironically, an old J. Geils tune. Love Stinks.

Weird Weather

2008-08-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

Here it, the alleged Dog Days of August.....and it feels like fall! What's up with that??? It's chilly in the mornings and great sleeping weather, definitely....but it's just odd for August, if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I'm droning on about it anyhoo. On a wardrobe level, I'm unprepared. Back in New York (again), and all I brought were tank tops and breezy little sleeveless things and (heaven help me) the dreaded soccer mom khakis. I swear these things are going in the dumpster soon. I'm so sick of looking at them, I just can't even tell you. Ugh. But that's another post. So anyhoo. Yeah. Weird weather, don'tcha think?

Tired, Pooped, Exhausted, Drained, Spent, Useless.

2008-08-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I'm sooooo tired. Out of the last seven days, I've spent four doing 10+ hour driving stints. Back and forth to New York. Home again, home again, jiggety jig. Home doesn't feel like home anymore...there's so much to be done here, but I can't get anything done because I'm needed in New York. Agh. Angst. Emotional upheaval. Physical exhaustion. Utter chaos and confusion. So anyhoo. I can't seem to manage anything but the most mundane tasks...the kind that can be done on autopilot. Dishes. Laundry. Pick up Doris. Drop her back off. Pick up the mail, open the bills, add them to the stack. Pack the bag, unpack the bag, do the laundry again. Pack the car, unpack the car, drive the car, load the car up again, drive some more. One thing at a time. One day at a time. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Flickr!

2008-07-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

So for the longest time I've been hearing Flickr, this....Flickr, that. A couple of weeks ago I finally took the plunge and set up my account....then this past weekend, I invested some time getting it together a bit better, and wow, what a difference. You can check it out by clicking on the box on this page. All of my handmade stuff is on there now, or at least the vast majority of it. Next step will be to submit a portfolio to trunkt.com, a juried process. Stay tuned.

Untitled, Disjointed Ramble

2008-07-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

Woke up to some great sales on Etsy this morning.....one customer bought five things, wooo hooooooooooo!!! AND a repeat customer, to boot......so that was a great way to start my day. I've got to say, Etsy's been a good thing for me....I'm pleased with the progress I've made in establishing myself as on online business presence, and I think/hope it will dovetail nicely with the next phase in my topsy-turvy life.

I've been trying to meet some established monthly goals in my Etsy shop, but with everything else that's been going on of late, it's been really hard to stay on top of things. Plus getting ready to relocate and basically change everything about my current life is making things pretty crazy. I feel like it's been so long since my dust has been settled, and being in such total disarray is starting to take a toll. Much as I've got on my mind on any given day, I fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow and don't move till it's time to get up. I think my brain is so tired, it needs the rest just to stop the spin cycle! Hopefully soon, as things begin to fall into place as I know they will, I'll be able to focus more and concentrate on what I need to do. Right now my mind is in so many directions, it's exhausting. Truly. So anyhoo. I'm rambling, I know. Lots of things are undecided right now, and I'm starting to feel a bit pressured with the time crunch that will soon be making my life even crazier. Throw a couple of unforeseen circumstances into the mix (like what's been going on this week), and it's a wonder I'm not being carted off in a rubber truck. I guess what I'm saying is this: I'm taking one day at a time. That's all I can tell you. I can't be any more specific than that right now. All I can do is try to cross a thing or two off the To Do List each day and hope for the best. That said, I'm hitting the sack. I'm pooped.

Is "Overwhelmedness" a Word???

2008-07-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking it's not, but it sure seems to be the Theme of My Life, of late. Ugh. Stuff, stuff, more stuff....so what did I do yesterday??? Went out and got MORE stuff. Which is excusable, really, or at least justifiable in my twisted little mind because I did take two big boxes of stuff to Goodwill first. So anyhoooooo. Yesterday should have been more productive than it was, but a girl can only do so much in a day. I mean, I got my hair done, so that was a plus...then I went and got some Superglue because mine ran out and I needed to fix my broken nail, which was until then being held together by an Elmo bandaid. Tickle me, Elmo. Next I went to the fabric store and found a pattern for the skirt I want to make for my upcoming Occasions (which I never have, and all of a sudden I have THREE, so figured that deserved a new frock, and I had found this most delicious flocked taffeta fabric, one of those things that just jumped off the table at me so I bought the whole rest of the bolt because I just couldn't resist. Doesn't it look like the most amazing old wallpaper? I just love it). After that, I tried to do a couple other errands, but that wasn't working out real well for me, sooooooo I gave up on the whole productivity thing and off I went for a little retail therapy at the antique mall. Now mind you, this was a followup visit to last Sunday's trip, when my friend Bob and I took his truck over to get these fab-u-lous columns, above, (which I'd been eyeballing for quite some time, but I needed to catch my favorite dealer, Clark Diesel AKA Old Codger Antiques, so he could give me a bargain). Mission accomplished...but I digress. On Sunday I spied with my big brown eyes some other treasures I was too tired to lug home; hence this followup trip. Look what I got!!! I was most excited about the birdcage (a Hendryx) and the ball of rusty chuck row wire. Love that thing. OK. So you can see all my exciting stuff above.....for now, I need to get going.

Hot, hot, HOT, Ugh!

2008-07-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's too damn hot. Yesterday I ran around all afternoon trying to get stuff done, and by the time I was finished I was ready for a nice, icy Margarita....so I called my friend Bob (good old Bob), and off we went. Woke up this morning with a case of serious sodium overload...too much chips and salsa, Margaritas on the rocks with plenty of salt... I'm sick of the heat. It makes me tired and cranky. And puffy.

Explorations

2008-07-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

This afternoon lovely daughter (LD) and I are heading out for another exploratory excursion here in the beautiful Catskill mountains. Yesterday we hit Saugerties (very disappointing) and Woodstock (a definite possibility, but more on that later). Today's agenda will hopefully include a stop in Andes to check out the adorable store, Mercantile, which--if I'm correctly interpreting the ad I saw in the local paper--must be (unfortunately) going out of business. Hmmmm. I wonder why? I think we must investigate. But if we're gonna do that, we must get our lazy butts in gear, because the day is slipping away. Bust out the cattle prod. Time to go.

....Five Hours Later

2008-07-09T08:44:00.000-07:00

Voila! Thanks to the gals over in the Forums at Etsy, I have successfully installed my Etsy Mini (see above). Thought for sure my MySpace-savvy daughter (who I am visiting in upstate New York) would be able to assist....but, alas, she is an admitted blog neophyte and was no help. So here I am, five hours and a whole pot of coffee later, still in my nightgown, BUT mission accomplished....thanks, Etsy girls! Confusion alleviated. On to the more pressing issues. Like, what do I wanna be when I grow up?

Confusion

2008-07-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I hate being confused. This morning I woke up confused about everything...and not just little stuff; huge, major, life-altering stuff. Where do I want to live, what do I want to do, what's going to become of me kind of stuff. I suppose everything will work itself out in its own little way, on its own schedule...but I'm finding it hard to cope with the fact that my entire life and future right now seems to be one, big, stinking question mark. UGH! I'm sure I shouldn't be writing this thing before I've even finished my coffee as it will likely turn out to be a big mish-mash of disjointed sentences and ramblings (like it already is) and it's much too early to be pondering the meaning of life or anything else so monumental, so maybe I'll just try to stick to something a bit more basic. Like why I started this thing in the first place. Which was to expand my online business presence. So why am I subjecting you to this personal drivel? It's a package deal, baby. With me, you can't have one without the other (APPARENTLY!). So on that cheery note, off I go to try to incorporate a link to my Etsy shop into this thing. Since I'm not techno-savvy, this could prove very interesting. Or frustrating. Or at the very least, confusing....which, I suppose, is the theme of this entire day. Confusion. Ugh!

A Pitcher of Bloody Marys on a Sunny Afternoon

2008-06-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

Ok. So here I am, about to start this whole blog thing. I've been anticipating this for quite some time but somehow never envisioned that I would actually DO it. It just seems so personal, ya know? But here goes. I'm trying to think of one word to describe where I am in life, at this particular moment. Ready. I guess that pretty much sums it up. Ready for it. Ready for change, ready to leave things behind, ready for a fresh start. Ready for life, I guess. Whatever that means. Trying to rid myself of unnecessary STUFF. Wanting to live the rest of my life Unencumbered by Extraneous Bullshit. Not wanting to escape, exactly....just ready to move forward. Not sure if a blog is exactly the right way to go about doing things, but here I am, on a sunny Sunday afternoon, just completed Phase One of a long overdue, meaning-of-life-type conversation with my (formerly estranged) good friend Bob, wherein we have been discussing the meaning of life and where exactly we are in this phase of life, as opposed to where we THOUGHT we would/should/could be at this phase, or where our parents' generation was at our age, and how much things have really changed. Ponderous thoughts and conversation while perched in Adirondack chairs, tipsy from Our Friend Mary. Life. At 50. Not what I thought, nothing I expected, yet everything it should be. For me. I guess. And I thought I'd keep this whole blog thing totally "business related", as I try to build an identity, business-wise. But ahhhhhh....I should have known. I'm MUCH too analytical for that! I should have known I'd intertwine the personal and the whole where-I-am-in-life thing with the business, because they are, after all, one and the same for me, yet so different. If that makes any sense at all.